It is no surprise that the majority of marriage problems in troubled marriages occur during the “midlife crisis”.
Can you guess the #1 cause of most marriage problems?
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It’s not an affair.
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It’s not money.
IT’S COMMUNICATION!
Most marriage issues requiring a marriage counselor for marriage advice stems from poor communication from one or both partners.
Inadequate communication is often the very basis for the majority of all other marriage problems, even those listed above.
But it’s not what you think. It isn’t simply communication. It is a lot more than that. It is the wrong kind of communication.
The problem is, it is often too late before we realize we have a communication problem. The damage has already been done.
Your wires get crossed, you don’t understand why your partner is doing what they are doing and you just plain get so angry you can’t stand it.
Ultimately someone utters the “D” word and you panic.
You might be surprised to learn that some of the issues where poor communication is involved are caused by insecurities brought on by aging, weight gain and because you’ve both changed and things aren’t just they way the used to be and neither one of you even considered talking about it.
Hence the breakdown in communication and your marriage problems.
Men generally have a more difficult time expressing their emotions, and this often results from his father having the same difficulties. He simply remembers and acts out on what he saw his father do.
Women are different of course, but the problem is getting their man to listen to them. He won’t share his feelings and she gets mad because he doesn’t understand. It can be a whirlwind of misunderstand and anger.
Although we can’t blame it on men, society seems to condition men not to identify or express their emotions. They are perceived to be weak. This is yet another reason most men won’t seek marriage counseling from a therapist and why marriage counseling has such a low success rate. This plus the fact that the vast majority of marriage counselors/therapists tend to focus entirely on communication and not the basis for the communication problems. They want you to “communicate” better but don’t really define exactly what kind of communication, other than verbal. You need more than that!
It is generally agreed that this causes a fundamentally misunderstanding between spouses and often causes tremendous strain on what could otherwise be a happy marriage.
It doesn’t have to be that way. There are literally dozens of well written books and counseling programs on this very subject.
Please don’t think you must see a marriage counselor for your marriage problems. Most modern couples today seek marital advice from the internet, which is an excellent place to start because;
- It isn’t very expensive (marriage counseling can cost more than $100 per hour, a LOT more)
- It has a proven high level of success
- It is much easier, better and faster than going to a marriage counselor for marriage advice, and
- Both parties don’t have to “attend”
Just be aware, and you probably already are, that communication is the key to a successful marriage, even if all you can do at the moment is argue.
Take a few minutes to scan the internet for some FREE marriage advice and follow up by sharing this with your spouse.
Then decide if you want to;
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try marriage counseling with a therapist,
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or go the way most people do these days – use an online source that both of you can agree on.
Then follow the marriage advice provided to solve your marriage problems.
An excellent place to start to get outstanding advice for your marriage problems would be the choices you see in the right column.
You can also find and explore more ways to help save your marriage and get expert marriage advice for your marriage problems right here; “Marriage Advice and Marriage Counseling“
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My spouse wants a divorce, I Don't,
WHAT CAN I DO?